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bums on seats

  • Mar. 2nd, 2008 at 5:49 PM
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During a conversation in the office last week, it was revealed that several of my colleagues not only never let their bottoms touch a loo seat in the office, but that they never sit down on a loo seat ANYWHERE OUTSIDE THEIR OWN HOME. Like, not even in their friends' houses. They hover, or cover the seat in loo paper. Now, I consider myself to be a person of ordinary hygiene, and I would not, obviously, sit on a toilet seat that was dirty or, in the case of public loos, a bit grubby or dodgy-looking, but as the only part of most people's anatomy that comes into contact with a toilet seat are the tops of their legs and the side of their bum, it has never crossed my mind that there's something gross about sitting in the same place as long as the place itself is clean. To be honest, if it's a question of revoltingness, surely touching the doorhandle of a public lavatory cubicle (or anywhere else, if you really start becoming germphobic) is much more disgusting, as people are likely to have touched it before washing their hands. Am I remarkably unsanitary for sitting down on the loo in my friends' houses, or are my colleagues, well, kind of mad?

And yes, when I said I wished I could post more often, I didn't think I would be posting about people's bathroom habits. But there you go.

In other news, spring has hit the park, which is a blaze of crocuses and daffodils. It's manky and rainy now, but yesterday afternoon was gorgeously sunny, and I walked around it listening to Vampire Weekend and feeling very summery and happy. More afternoons like that, please, and fewer afternoons worrying about stupid work crap.

Comments

[info]glitzfrau wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 05:44 pm (UTC)
I read somewhere once that hovering is REALLY REALLY BAD FOR YOU, probably in a very scientific women's magazine, but anyway, hovering means you can't pee properly (as any fule know) and apparently that leads to... infections, or something. Anyway. You are of course RIGHT, and your colleagues obviously also use moist baby wipes instead of vulgar unhygienic toilet paper, and possibly also "intimate" deodorants. EWWW.
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
It is indeed really bad for you! And also uncomfortable. And yes, I wouldn't be at all surprised if my colleagues used all of those awful products. Urrgh.
[info]dorianegray wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
I think your colleagues are mad. It is pretty hard to catch anything from a loo seat, unless you have, perhaps, open wounds upon those portions of your anatomy which touch it. (Sitting on a wet seat, say, is of course rather unpleasant, but one can usually wipe it off first with loo paper.)

But I think this is a fairly widespread piece of weirdness; I know a few people who share it.

(Now, how would your colleagues react to one of mine, who doesn't always lock the cubicle door...?)
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
They apparently know that you can't get anything off a loo seat, but they still somehow think it's somehow disgusting! I mean, urine's pretty easy to wipe off, as you say, but they won't even sit on a wee-free seat.
[info]kylegirl wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 06:38 pm (UTC)
I think this is a mystifying yet commonplace phenomenon. I don't get it! It seems to me that if we would all just sit the hell down, then pee-on-the-seat incidents would be greatly reduced, and overall the whole shared toilet experience would be much more pleasant.
[info]gralyn wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 07:21 pm (UTC)
Agreed!! The hover-ers make things more unpleasant for the rest of us.
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
I know! It's hovering that causes wet seats (well, in ladies' loos, anyway). But my colleagues claim that they usually cover the seat with paper rather than hover, which seems, frankly, unnecessarily time-consuming...
[info]mollydot wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 09:45 pm (UTC)
Ah, but if there's a serial killer waiting to kill you when you're in the cubicle, that faffing about with the toilet paper saves your attempted murder from being that much more embarrassing: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112722/
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 4th, 2008 09:57 am (UTC)
Hmmm, good point.
[info]shirtdress wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 06:43 pm (UTC)
i'm with you on the doorhandles, and you know what? you deal with it, you touch the doorhandles, and it's probably not going to be the thing that kills you. i won't eat with my hands without washing them, but i also think that hand sanitisers (outside of hospitals, living a domestic/urban life) are overkill and falling prey to paranoia marketing.

my favourite is the one where people won't go to the bathroom anywhere other than at home - i'm never sure whether this is literal or euphemistic going-to-the-bathroom, but either way, terrible idea, and whose body is that schedulable?

(i am quietly wondering if your colleagues worry whether their hovering causes splattering, because i've been surprised how the posher semi-public toilets (restaurants, etc) i've been in have also shown signs of the worst toilet etiquette i've seen, bar one memorable roadside stop in michigan. but, errrgh, i'd rather not wonder.)


spring is a winner. the lethal wind could do with disappearing, but i'm so excited seeing it brighter later every day,
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 10:56 pm (UTC)
I know! I'm actually cycling home in (sort of) daylight, it's fantastic. Although when it's really windy I don't dare cycle, not since I was nearly blown under a bus a while back.

I think that if it were physically possible, my colleagues would only go to the loo in their own homes. They have also expressed total horror at the idea of someone having a poo in a public (or even work) toilet, in the same tone I would describe someone having a crap in the street.
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 10:58 pm (UTC)
Also, those hand-sanitisers are ridiculous - outside of hospitals, as you say. The way they're marketed really does seem to encourage those with obsessive germophobic tendencies to freak out even more.
[info]leedy wrote:
Mar. 3rd, 2008 09:43 am (UTC)
Yeah, I basically use hand sanitizer when camping/at muddy festivals (because hand-washing facilities are often few and far between) and that's it. I cannot imagine how/why one might want to use it in everyday life, unless your home is prone to outbreaks of dysentery, or similar.

I pretty much don't hover, ever (I'll wipe the seat if it's less than salubrious), and OH HOW I HATE hoverers whose precious bottoms are too good to touch the toilet seat and then spray it with wee for the rest of us.

Someone I know ([info]lazy_hoor, possibly) knows someone who won't let visitors poo in her toilet.
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 4th, 2008 09:58 am (UTC)
HOW DOES SHE ENFORCE THIS RULE?!
[info]chiasmata wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
That is very, very weird.

My crazy French housemate had a whole collection of loo seat sanitisers and so on, which we have been left with as a reminder of her special ways. She once said to me that she had wanted to insist that everyone wiped down the seat every time they used the loo, but realised that was just too much. So, um, she did it herself instead.
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 07:37 pm (UTC)
Jaysus. That's taking loo-mania to a new extreme...
[info]cangetmad wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
I believe it is research-true that inside doorhandles are the germiest place and the loo seat actually among the cleanest places in a toilet stall. However, if you tell your colleagues that they'll almost certainly start opening the door with toilet paper over their hands, rather than giving up their hovering ways.
[info]listersgirl wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
A lot of the women where I work use tp to open the stall doors, and also take a piece of paper towel in order to open the main doors. At which point I wonder, where does it stop?
[info]offscreen wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 10:03 pm (UTC)
We have a woman in my office who does that. She's very weird and unfriendly, so maybe she sees other humans as giant germ factories?
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 07:32 pm (UTC)
And next think I know, they'll be refusing to touch anything that's been touched by another person (I actually do know someone with quite severe OCD who's developed a genuine phobia of touching things like ATM buttons). It's a slippery slope...
[info]puritybrown wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 08:25 pm (UTC)
I can kind of understand that, because I've seen ATMs that had quite obviously been puked on at some stage the previous night and not yet cleaned. But the human immune system is very sturdy, as a rule. An apparently high level of germ exposure is consistent with good health, all other things being equal.
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 11:01 pm (UTC)
Well, I wouldn't touch one covered in sick, or the aftereffects thereof! But this bloke has developed a total fear of touching any ATM panel at all, which is part of a general OCD-caused germphobia. And you're right, we're pretty good at fighting off most minor germs. A friend of mine whose mother practically boil-washed all the kids every night said that she thinks her mother's constant use of antibacterial soaps and her attempt to create a sterile environment are the reasons she and her siblings have loads of freaky allergies.
[info]zoje_george wrote:
Mar. 3rd, 2008 01:20 am (UTC)
True dat! People who grow up eating mud pies, with animals in the home, grimy faces... you know, normal kidstuff, tend to develop stronger immune systems -- I mean, isn't that sort of why our particular species survived so many millennia already?

And the only times I've hovered have been in extraordinarily horrible toilets here in VN. At this point, they have to be really really really horrible for me to hover as well.

I wonder how your co-workers would fare when they encounter no other option but a Chinese toilet? :: shudder ::

Edited at 2008-03-03 01:23 am (UTC)
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 4th, 2008 02:46 pm (UTC)
I shudder to think! Actually, that looks very like the sort of toilet that was commonplace in some French public loos until relatively recently (and possibly still is common today) - during my first few visits to rural France in the late '80s, we encountered many a public lavatory that was basically a hole in the ground with a tiled place to put your feet on each side.
[info]listersgirl wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
I've never understood the hovering, because, like you said, it's mostly your legs that touch the toilet seat. Would these people also refuse to sit on chairs in public if they were wearing shorts?
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
That's exactly what I was thinking!
[info]offscreen wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 10:05 pm (UTC)
Here in LA we have paper toilet seat covers in every public restroom. I use them, but if they don't have any I just plunk my ass right down, no hovering... I don't have the time, patience, or leg muscles for that.
[info]jinty wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 10:32 pm (UTC)
I had this whole argument with my mum more than once but I couldn't think of a tactful way to say - "it's not your actual cunt that touches anything! I's just your legs!" so I gave up.
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 4th, 2008 02:47 pm (UTC)
I know, it's a kind of difficult one to argue without getting pretty graphic...
[info]lolamoz wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
Here's another nugget of loo-trivia to share with your workmates: generally speaking, the last cubicle in any given ladies' room is the most used, ergo it would potentially have the most germs. The first cubicle is usually the least-used one. Although, if you tell that lot it sounds like they might all try using the first cubicle, all the time, which would completely defeat the purpose...
[info]therealjo wrote:
Mar. 2nd, 2008 11:20 pm (UTC)
We did an experiement at college in Biology about bacteria and the most unhealthy, disgusting, bacteria ridden place by far was not
1) the toilet
2) the toilet door (male OR female, they were much the same)
3) the stair handle
4) the cutlery in the staff room

but....
the button on the pedestrian crossing. Eeeew, there was some scary looking things that grew on that agar plate.
[info]stellanova wrote:
Mar. 4th, 2008 02:47 pm (UTC)
Yikes! What a scary thought. Makes sense though.
[info]suzybie wrote:
Mar. 3rd, 2008 09:40 pm (UTC)
hovering...
I'm sitting here wondering if hovering is good for the pelvic floor or not..Shouldn't I have better things to be doing on a Monday night.

Arthritis would never let me hover even if I wanted to... (oh there's something for my gravestone!)

Mamanpoulet...
[info]radegund wrote:
Mar. 4th, 2008 10:56 pm (UTC)
It's the C**** hive-mind! I distinctly recall [info]leedy reporting on precisely this conversation with some colleagues a couple of years ago - with a similar level of mystification :-)

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literature, fotherington-tomas, auntie mame, doublethink, sigh, hurrah lane, bored veronica, irish politics, hee!, darcy heart, Hildy, knitting, glamour, smiling hot doctor, interest, tear it up terry down, happy veronica by qtmjbcs, working lady of shallot, eliott sisters, polar bears, miss nonentity, bored, emily, smiling, love, hogarth, naughty little sister, conchords synths, swoon, pedantry, crossness!, books, absinthe, dr who, periods, howard boosh, badass buffy by <lj user=brokenrecord__>, dr hmmm, PMT, forlorn Buffy, mina, serene nicola, ghost, feminist rant, me!, happy bucky, work, sympathy, hot doctor, hello doctor, bunny huh, pandababy christmas, reading, orwell gum, rock and roll, writing bucky, hurrah for the master, conchords baguette, searle ju ju, raaar master, alte bucher, irish lorelai, critical, meh, tea time, ardizzone, alice liddell, brief encounter, music, think of the kittens, His Girl Friday, pandababy, summer, rosalind knitting, bertie, baby faced savage, francoise, sauciness, worried mina, library, work icon, lady of shalott, buffy becoming, musical, fame, romans, how to be topp, feminist buffy, fashionista, a is for anna
[info]stellanova
The Monkey Princess

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