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Jesus. I am content no more. Yesterday, my mother rang me at work to say a UPS parcel had been delivered to the family home for me, but no one was there to collect, it so they left a card. Without, for some reason, a tracking number on it. This has been causing ridiculous problems.

Basically, my mother rang UPS and was told they could deliver the parcel to my work the next day, and use my home phone number as a tracking number. Simple, no? Well, you'd think. Apparently, however, this is not simple to the people on the UPS phoneline today, who seem totally and utterly horrified by the news that one of their moronic employees didn't write down the tracking number, and so refuse to believe it. They also seem bewildered by the fact that I have a different home and work number (as far as they're concerned, I live at my parents' house - I wasn't going to get into still further complications by telling them that actually, my home phone number is...), which you wouldn't think would be in any way surprising, but it is to them.

Sample conversation between me and UPS lacky:

UPS: So, we'll call you at [home number].
Me: I'm at work right now, so can you ring my work number? it's [work number].
UPS: [Home number]?
me: No, that's my home phone number, I'm at work right now. The number is [work number].
UPS: The number we have for you is [home number].

And so on, ad nauseum. Surely anyone who is even aware of the fact that some people work outside the domestic sphere has heard of the idea that people have different phone numbers at work and at home? Well, that news hasn't penetrated the Dublin UPS office.

They are fools! And I want my mysterious parcel! And a cigarette!


fat pony like thunder
The Monkey Princess

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July 2009


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