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tongue in...something

Oh God. It's Paris Hilton's book proposal.

Note the plan for a "mock warning sticker on front of book":

"Warning! If you open this book, you expose yourself to the dangerously fabulous lifestyle of Paris Hilton. Proceed at risk of strong envy - and strong impulse to emulate."

Yes, because I can think of nothing I envy more than the opportunity to have my beyond-skanky sex-tapes watched by millions of strangers. Jesus.

This book looks astonishingly bad. Look at Paris's Guide to Being an Heiress. It's obviously meant to be wittily tongue in cheek, but it's really, really not. It's just kind of tragic. And she 'grew up right next to [her sister]?' What a weird way of putting it. It's not like they had different parents or anything, and it looks like they lived in the same house. Jesus, if even your ghost writers can't master English, you're in trouble.

There are many, many things in this proposal which I would like to quote and mock, but once I started, I'd more or less have to quote the entire thing, which would ultimately rob me of the will to live. Especially the sick-making bit "by" her horrible little dog. Although I can't resist this

I'd love to have a boy named London and a daughted named China - I like kids' names with countries or cities [sic]. I just get a kick out of naming a kid after a famous city - like I was. I think it's funny. I had a cat named London."

Good sweet jesus.

Also, I can't say how much I hate the way modern culture openly asks us to envy the lives of vulgar, rich morons. MTV seems to have had about 50 "lifestyles of the loaded" weeks, which means even more episodes of Cribs and some stupid programmes about how the Beckhams spend all their mountains of cash. Lavish consumption has been raised to a virtue. And even though I love the feeling of coming home with lots of cool shopping bags as much as the next consumer monkey, I really, really hate the glorification of it.

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
audrawilliams
Feb. 10th, 2004 06:15 am (UTC)
is that CURLZ???

Christ on a crutch.
blue_monday
Feb. 10th, 2004 06:25 am (UTC)
bleh. I'm not going to read the links, it sounds horrible. As does Paris Hilton, in fact.

Seriously though, she wants to name her kids after cities? What the hell is she on?

Can we kill her? please?
sdn
Feb. 10th, 2004 06:26 am (UTC)
oh man, i just woke up! now i want to go back to bed. i have a goosedown quilt! i must be an heiress!

this IDIOT basically gets her money from all of the underpaid people who work at hiltons. i can't believe anyone actually cares about her.
tenacitydrader
Feb. 10th, 2004 06:28 am (UTC)
Oh God. It's Paris Hilton's book proposal.

Mercy. Lord have mercy on us all. *headdesk*
goovie
Feb. 10th, 2004 06:49 am (UTC)
Re:
yeah, totally. and the worst thing is, it's so bad, i can't even make fun of it--there are just no words.
melusina99
Feb. 10th, 2004 02:50 pm (UTC)
Re:
Exactly. I just kept staring at the monitor, shaking my head.
septembergrrl
Feb. 10th, 2004 06:47 am (UTC)
I saw that!

She really is a moron, or at least seems one from the proposal. I don't get why people would envy her. Her money, maybe, but not her life.
socmot
Feb. 10th, 2004 06:59 am (UTC)
I've seen her TV show a couple of times.
She's either an utter moron, or revels in being perceived as one.

And I also hate her because her skanky videos have been responsible for floods of spam. Gah.
anglaisepaon
Feb. 10th, 2004 07:09 am (UTC)
You know, I think this is a flashback for Americans. The 90s seemed more socially conscious, more green, less involved with status. Suddenly there's an onslaught of heiresses in the newspaper, and even Robin Leach's "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" is back.

I must admit, I always thought that it was the UK who had dumb rich girls in the press (I'm sorry, I still don't understand why Tara Palmer-T. is always in the paper). Now we have dumb rich girls and dumb celebrities. Arg!
stellanova
Feb. 10th, 2004 12:04 pm (UTC)
Re:
Well, the rise of the so-called It Girls like Tara P-T in the late '90s was a bit of a surprise on this side of the Atlantic too! Ten years ago, I certainly wouldn't have predicted a rise in the profiles of stupid rich birds with no jobs.
anglaisepaon
Feb. 10th, 2004 06:07 pm (UTC)
Re:
I say "Down with stupid rich birds with no jobs"...on both sides of the Atlantic! :)
alicetiara
Feb. 10th, 2004 07:50 am (UTC)
You guys are all just jealous!!!! Paris is sooo beautiful and she gets to date hot guys like NICK CARTER and wear outfits made out of duct tape and string and do lots of coke with Tara Reid!!!! Every girl wants to be like her!! Everyone being a hater is probably ugly and fat!! Paris I love you!! Write me at camp!!
stellanova
Feb. 10th, 2004 08:12 am (UTC)
Re:
*sobs* Oh God, you're right, I am just a jealous hater. Why am I not "dangerously fabulous" like Paris? WHY? WHY?!

Oh, well. At least I can buy some 'Paris and Tinkerbell' dog clothes and make my cat wear them. Perhaps that will bring me closer to the glamour of my idol.
fromaway
Feb. 10th, 2004 08:52 am (UTC)
"But who is this mysterious, probably shy - and definitely sweet - young woman?"

Uh, yeah, okay.

Reminds me of Ed the Sock (Canadian Beavis and Butthead/Howard Stern) on Britney's line "All you people look at me like I'm a little girl..."

"We look at you like you're a little girl? Uh, nnnno. We look at you like you're a BIG SKANK!"
stellanova
Feb. 10th, 2004 09:18 am (UTC)
Re:
Yes, what the hell? Shy? And please, after that tape, there really is nothing mysterious about her...
roseability_
Feb. 10th, 2004 10:00 am (UTC)
She has a book? Only if the definition of writing a book is having your name on the cover and ok-ing the contents in between bouts of amateur porn.

She is a classic example of too much too young.

Oh, and stupidity. That too.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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