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Nooooooooooooo! Dawn! Go to him!

Good God. Tonight's episode of The Office was the most depressing thing I've seen since Mike Leigh's All or Nothing. Parts of it were just unbearable. And I was near tears when Tim marched off to tell Dawn his feelings. It was so well done, and when he came out of that room....

Ouch. So sad.

So to cheer myself up, I'm posting Part Five of From Here to Sweet Valley.



Elizabeth Wakefield cleared her throat nervously. She hoped her old mentor wouldn’t mind her calling him out of the blue. But he was the only way she could think of getting in touch with her old classmates.
She dialled the number and listened as the phone rang once, twice, three times, four…

“Hello, Roger Collins speaking,” said a voice like molten honey.
At the very sound of it, Elizabeth smiled.

“Mr Collins? I hope you don’t mind me calling. It’s Elizabeth Wakefield.”

“Elizabeth!” cried Sweet Valley High’s popular English teacher. “It’s great to hear from you. How are you? Last I heard you were in London.”

“Well, I’m in Dublin now,” said Elizabeth. “But I’m thinking of coming home for a while. And I need your help!”
“I’ll help you in any way I can,” said Mr Collins, who had the strawberry blond and wrinkly good looks of Robert Redford. “Just name it. As long as it’s, you know, legal.”

“I want to organise a school reunion,” said Elizabeth. “I thought you might be able to get the alumni records and see where all the old gang is now.”

“Well, those files are meant to be confidental,” said Mr Collins. “But, what the hell! I’ll do it. Anything for the Oracle’s best writer.”

“Thanks Mr Collins!” cried Elizabeth. “I’m going to try and get over to Sweet Valley very soon. I’ll see you then.”

“Bye, Liz,” said Mr Collins. He replaced the receiver, a fond smile on his face. He’d always liked Elizabeth Wakefield. She was a good kid.

“Who was that on the phone, honey?”

Mr Collins turned to see his wife enter the kitchen.

“You’ll never guess,” he said. “It was Liz Wakefield. She’s organising a class reunion!”

Cara Walker gasped. “But I can’t… I can’t see the twins!”

“You might have to,” said her husband gently. “If you go.”

Cara sighed. “They’ve never forgiven me for marrying you. I guess they always hoped I’d go back to Steven, their brother. But it’s you I always loved, Roger.”

“I never noticed you as a woman, Cara,” said Mr Collins. “I saw you as a child. But that day three years ago, when mw met at the rally to prevent the closure of the Dairi Burger…”

“It was a magical moment, “ Cara agreed. She’d been back in Sweet Valley for a few years then, after a long time spent in London, and had got back togetehr with her old boyfriend, Steven Wakefield. But when she and Mr Collins saw each other outside of the classroom, there was an instant attraction. Both were powerless to resist. They had married a year later, and now Cara taught french at Sweet Valley High. She had worried about taking up the position. Mr Collin’s ex-fiance, Ms Dalton, was also a french teacher at the school, but the two women had become firm friends. Sometimes Cara felt older than her years. And sometimes, although she would never admit to darling Roger, she wished she could act her age. She was only 28, but hanging around with an older crowd made her feel about fifty sometimes. The thought of a school reunion was exciting – even if it did mean seeing her old friend Jessica Wakefield. At least she’d get the chance to act her age again.

And maybe, just maybe, she could make piece with her old pal.

She smiled. This reunion was going to be fun!

Chapter Two


Chapter Two

The sun shone down on Sweet Valley, and Jessica wakefield was soaking up the rays. The weather was nice in New York at this time of year, but nothing beat that California sun. And Jessica Wakefield was the epitome of the California girl. She loved working on her tan, and refused to believe the news that prolonged sun exposure was unhealthy.

“Everyone looks better tan,” she declared. “It looks great with my gold maillot swim-suit.”

Now Jessica was relaxing by the Wakefields’ pool. She was going out for dinner with her parents later on – she refused to dine in the house, knowing that she would be forced to help shop vegetables, and there was no Elizabeth on whom to foist her chores.

Jessica Wakefield didn’t do chores.

She sighed with pleasure and turned over so that the sun could caress her lithe frame. It was good to be home. Even a crazy evil monster could miss her mom and dad. She was drifting off into a daydream when the phone rang. She reached out an exquisitely manicured hand and answered it.

“Hello?” she murmured.

“Jess! Hi, it’s me!”

“Oh, hi Lizzie,” said Jess. Even though she had always ruthlessly exploited her sister, she still had a certain icy fondness for her. She felt that strange twinnish link to her, and sometimes found herself feeling weepy, thinking about dumb basketball players.

It was strange.

“Jess, I’m coming home!”

“You are?” said Jessica. This was an unexpected, and pleasurable, surprise. Jessica and Elizabeth together gave the evil twin the opportunity to induge in some high quality schemes. She knew that she’d be able to convince Elizabeth to pretend to be her so that she could get out of some unpleasant situation. “Cool.”

“I’m organising a class reunion, Jess,” said the excited columnist. “I want all the gang to get back together and have a big party!”

Jessica sat up on her velvet-covered lounger, which was impractical for beside the pool, but which she had brought over on the Hershey bar. She was a girl who liked luxury at all times.

“That sounds like a great idea, Liz!” she said. She meant it. It would be cool to see all her old friends and rivals. She wanted to flaunt her outrageous success.

To be continued...

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
jinxremoving
Nov. 5th, 2002 06:57 am (UTC)
wrinkly good looks? sheer genius.

Cara sighed. “They’ve never forgiven me for marrying you. I guess they always hoped I’d go back to Steven, their brother. But it’s you I always loved, Roger.”

“I never noticed you as a woman, Cara,” said Mr Collins.


i totally misunderstood this at first. i thought maybe cara used to be their brother steven and then transitioned ...
stellanova
Nov. 5th, 2002 07:06 am (UTC)
Ooh no, she used to go out with Steven. Anything else would be waaaay too complex for this pile of poo! I will go back and rephrase in due course. Or should I? After all, this is Nanowrimo, where the no-editing rule applies...
biascut
Nov. 5th, 2002 08:33 am (UTC)
Hee! You know, I was just wandering around waitressing today, thinking about your novel, and it suddenly occurred to me that you'd got an awfully long way without describing Jessica's bikini. Because there should always be at least one bikini - and it should usually "leave little to the imagination" and Jessica must never, under any circumstances wear the same one twice. I wonder how many bikinis Jessica had, by the end?

It also suddenly occurred to me to wonder how much the actually authors of the SVH series were taking the piss. Do you think they competed to see who could mention the colour of their eyes the most often?
stellanova
Nov. 6th, 2002 04:41 am (UTC)
Oh don't worry, there'll be more hideous bikini descriptions. I just had to get in the maillot swimsuit because I have absolutely no idea what exactly that is. But Jess and Lila were always wearing them.

And I think the writers were totally taking the piss sometimes. In (I shudder to admit my detailed knowledge) Soap Star, Elizabeth complains about soap operas, asking why anyone would want to - not an exact quotation, but more or less - "watch a bunch of beautiful brainless girls act out unbelievable plots with their qually vacuous boyfriends". Very meta!
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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