January 5th, 2005

fat pony like thunder

outings, dieting and working

In about twenty minutes, I'm going to go into town for the first time since Christmas eve. That's nearly two weeks! Two weeks since I last ventured out of various suburbs (and a small town in Kildare)! The shame. I'll be like someone who's been living in isolation for years, I won't be able to cope with all the people. And the shops. And the bright, shiny lights. Eek.

But there are things to be bought and people to see, so off I go. And I need to get out of the house for several hours because I've spent the last few days sitting at this desk writing an article about various diets and what they entail. I could feel my soul dying. The worst was writing about "Dr" Gillian "You Are What You Eat" McKeith. My job was just to report on the details of all these diets because an actual nutritionist was going to do the criticising (and rightly so), but it was very, very hard to just report the ridiculous theories Ms McKeith (I'm not going to call her doctor, and I wouldn't even if her PhD wasn't from an unaccredited internet college) without critical comment. Even I, whose last study of science was when I did the inter in 1991, knows that chlorophyll can't help you absorb oxygen because it's what enable plants to photosynthesise, and unless the sun is literally shining out of your arse, it's not going to do much good in your stomach. Even if you were a plant, which, if you're reading this, you're not (I hope). This preposterous theory is just one reason why McKeith has been the frequent subject of the Guardian's Bad Science column. I can't believe she's allowed on telly pretending to be a doctor. Anyway, reading about all these diets just made me want to sit down and eat a tub of lard or something. Which I didn't. Although I did have supernoodles for dinner yesterday, which would probably make "Dr" McKeith swoon into her bean sprouts.

In other news, I have been all productive and sent off twobegging letters requests for freelance work from new editors. Now I just have to wait for them to get back to me. And wait. And wait. And wait.
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