The Harlot's Progress

A great number of children who witnessed the tragedy are still plagued by nightmares of sun-shapes that recall Jackson's nipple ring. Of the infants who saw the breast, 76 percent are unwilling to breast feed or use a bottle, forcing their parents to nourish them intravenously.

Ah, The Onion, what would we do without you? I also particularly liked the "Terrifying Sea Monster Turns Out To Be Even More Terrifying Amphibious Monster" headline on the homepage...

A liberal Christian takes back moral values.

When you cause most of the rest of the world to hate a country that was once the most loved country in the world, and act like it doesn't matter what others think of us, only what God thinks of you, you have done something immoral.

When you use hatred of homosexuals as a wedge issue to turn out record numbers of evangelical voters, and use the Constitution as a tool of discrimination, you are doing something immoral.

When you favor the death penalty, and yet claim to be a follower of Jesus, who said an eye for an eye was the old way, not the way of the kingdom, you are doing something immoral.

When you dismantle countless environmental laws designed to protect the earth which is God's gift to us all, so that the corporations that bought you and paid for your favors will make higher profits while our children breathe dirty air and live in a toxic world, you have done something immoral. The earth belongs to the Lord, not Halliburton.

Preach it, Dr Robin Meyers. Although I'm merely a Catholic-tinged agnostic, I'm always pleased to see someone reclaiming the liberal ideals of Christianity from the horrible clutches of bigoted fundamentalist fuckwits.

Link from audrawilliams.

In an addendum to my last post about nice lefty Christians, I bring you the news that that nefarious gay recruitment agent Spongebob Squarepants has been warmly welcomed by the liberal United Church of Christ, the church whose ads promoting tolerance were rejected by major US TV networks last year.

Behold Spongebob's photo diary....

SpongeBob meets with the Rev. John H. Thomas, the UCC's general minister and president, in his office. Explains Thomas, "No matter who you are or where you are on life's journey, SpongeBob, you're welcome here."

Bwahahahaha! And, awww.