February 15th, 2005

irish politics, bertie

eireann go fuck off.

Warning: this entry contains even more swearing than usual.

Wow, thanks to barsine, I think I've now seen the biggest bunch of fucking morons on livejournal. They refer to Ireland as "the isle", they want "BRITS OUT" of a country they've never even seen, and they are obviously, each and every one of them, a complete and utter fuckwit who deserves a good kicking.

This is one of the most stupid entries (although not the most offensive - those would be the ones advocating terrorism). It doesn't even make any fucking sense! "You know someone called Sully"? The hell? Is Sully a popular Irish name? If it were, surely I would have met someone in this country over the last 29 and a half years who has it? Let's have a look at some of the other "truisms".

You don't believe there is a God, but you are damn sure of the infallibility of the Pope.

Yes, because everyone in Ireland is a Catholic. And even if they were, they're certainly not slavish worshippers of the church hierarchy, so that statement is, like the rest of this rubbish, neither accurate nor funny.

Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.

Yes, because the Irish are always getting into fights. Haw haw haw! Domestic violence is funny.

There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.

Yeah, because Irish people have so many keg parties. Wait, this couldn't be aimed at people who aren't actually FROM IRELAND, could it? Surely not! After all, they're so sure of their, um, Irishness.

You cry at sad movies, but you cheer in battle.

Just.....just fuck off. The person who posted this quiz was born in 1989 and has presumably never taken part in a "battle". I'd love to shove them in the centre of Omagh in the summer of 1998 and see how much they're fucking cheering then.

You're proud to be Irish - and you pass these jokes on to all your Irish friends!

No. No, I'm not particularly proud, because although I am very fond of my country and get annoyed when people think we're British, an accident of birth is nothing to be particularly proud of. And no, I don't.

Flame away, my friends. Please, for the love of all that is right, flame away.
  • Current Mood
    appalled, with two 'p's

yes, i know, i am a traitor to my glorious race and the motherland as a whole

In addendum to my last post: having foolishly gone and read the LJs of some of these gobshites, I am in such a state of seething rage that I would happily do what those arseholes suggest and pick up a gun. Except once I was fully armed, I would then go round to their houses, put the gun to their idiotic heads, and demand that they never, ever do any of the following:

1. Refer to themselves as Irish. Ever, ever again.

2. Call Ireland the "motherland". Or "the isle".

3. Post lists of wildly inaccurate Irish stereotypes which supposedly "prove" their Irishness.

4. Listen to any of the many ridiculous American bands who pretend to be Irish (usually calling themselves and their music "celtic") and give themselves even stupider faux-Irish names, yet never actually play here BECAUSE THEY KNOW WE WOULD ALL LAUGH AT THEM.

5. Make any reference, ever, to "the Brits" and the Evil Things They Have Done to the Poor, Poor Irish.

6. Romanticise a bunch of terrorists. They should all be forced to watch news footage of Omagh, post bombing, then meet some of the people who lost their families or their sight or had various limbs blown off. Let's see how proud of the IRA they feel then.

You know, in all their idiotic ramblings about the Famine ("the Irish Holocaust!" Oh, fuck off) and the Rising, they never mention any of the actual valid reasons for Irish independence. They never mention the ways in which Ireland was deliberately kept agricultural and poor after the industrial revolution. They never mention the Land League or the Home Rule movement or John Redmond. They never even mention Catholic emancipation or the civil rights movement. They just go on about these big violent issues which have been romanticised to fuck (nothing romantic about the industrial revolution - factories might have sullied the glorious green fields of the (puke) isle!) by the worst nationalist extremists. It's all about either the poor Irish being "starved" by "the Brits", or cross-eyed Pearse bellowing about Ireland being freed by blood sacrifice. It's never about boring old things like parliamentary reform or tenant farmers. That might, you know, require them to actually read something that isn't from the Sinn Fein propaganda shop. Bunch of wankers.
  • Current Mood
    still appalled