April 21st, 2006

smiling, pandababy

and then the midget fainted, on account of all the madness

Thanks to my sister Busta J, I have become slightly obsessed with R. Kelly's infamous Trapped in the Closet. Oh, of course I'd heard of his sprawling "hip hopera", but somehow I'd never actually seen it. Until now.

And oh my God, it was worth the wait.

Seriously, if, like me until yesterday, you're one of the few people who haven't seen this deranged festival of nutjobbery, go and watch it now. It's just....well, it's kind of indescribable, but imagine a six year old telling a story in a very rambling way. Then imagine R. Kelly singing this story. Then imagine a sequence of videos in which actors perform the story while R. Kelly sings over them. Imagine that this story features falsetto croonings of lines like "the midget was the baby's daddy!" and "it was Rosie the nosy neighbour......holding a spatulaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" It is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. I mean, I knew that R. Kelly had written this freakish narrative song, but NOTHING COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THE TOTAL INSANITY OF THE REAL THING.

The only problem is, R. Kelly released "chapter" 12 in November, and there's been nothing since then! Will we ever find out what happens to Sylvester, Gwendolyn, Chuck, Rufus, and the rest of the gang? I can only hope so.

In non-crazy R'n'B star news, tonight Patsington and I visited friends who have just (a) moved into a new house and (b) had a baby. It was our second time meeting the baby, and our first time in the house. The house is lovely and the baby is utterly adorable and totally tiny. We are both slightly mesmerised by her, and after every encounter with her we end up having increasingly ridiculous and surreal conversations about the names of our hypothetical future children. Patsington's finest suggestion tonight: Martin Gore.
Me: Who?
Patsington: Why, the one in Depeche Mode who wrote all the songs even though everyone thought Dave Gahan wrote them.
Me (after laughing for some time): I see.

His other suggestion was "The Moth". Somehow I don't think we'll be going for either of them.