Instead, I shall clear something up for (ahem) fans of From Here to Sweet Valley.
It has come to my attention that some of you are not aware that when I refer to Bruce picking Jessica up on the dancefloor and spinning her over his head, I AM NOT MAKING IT UP.
No, that incident took place in Playing With Fire, the same book which described Bruce bounding up the stairs of SVH "with the grace of a young lion."
What a handsome couple! Look at Bruce's luxurious locks. No wonder Jessica found him so irresistable.
Believe me, whatever I put in this story, it can never be quite as freakish as the original. Well, except for the whole flying monkey thing. And Alice Wakefield's Wildean portrait. But anything else can probably be surpassed in weirdness by Francine Pascal and her sweatshop of writers...and if you don't believe me, just read the one where Jessica dyes her hair and starts dressing in "European" style....