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biggus dickus

As amphoteric has already mentioned, tonight a bunch of us (including barsine, alices, leedy and jane_the_23rd) went for a few bevvies in the Stag's, and towards the end of the night, I told the others (some of the above had gone home) about an article I read years ago by Woody Allen in which he told of the game in which one substitutes the word "dick" for the word "heart" in the titles of songs, films and books. So, we started thinking up suitable titles. Sadly, once we started, we couldn't stop, until we were reduced to a heap of sniggering hysteria. There was Dick to Dick. There was Dick of Glass. And there was the strangely poignant The Dick is a Lonely Hunter. But best of all, there was a ready made and rather sordid musical, whose story went like this:

Are you ready to be dick-broken?

Don't go breaking my dick!

Shot through the dick, and you're to blame!*

Achy-breaky dick

Unbreak My Dick

And for the finale:

I think I need a new dick.

How true. Sadly, by the time we were onto Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Dicks Club Band, we were all dicked out. So to speak. Suggestions of more songs/books/films with the word heart in them, please! Fuel our childish sniggering!

*Not actually a title, just a line from a song, but come on! Bon Jovi! How could we resist?


( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 23rd, 2004 01:49 pm (UTC)
Re: locked inside your dick-shaped box.
Hee! I kept thinking of more titles when I was falling asleep last night. No wonder I had odd dreams!
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 23rd, 2004 01:50 pm (UTC)
Hee, we kept singing "A Good Dick" last night - "please be gentle with this dick of mine" was a line which couldn't be finished because we were all laughing too much!
Dec. 23rd, 2004 02:06 am (UTC)
*sings "Take another little piece of my dick, now baby" and sniggers*
Dec. 23rd, 2004 03:03 am (UTC)

How about The Tell-Tale Dick?
Dec. 23rd, 2004 07:58 am (UTC)
And for your next drinking game...

dear_hubby used to walk around singing words to really, really silly popular songs with "love" in them, but where the love-object was "you", he would then put "me", as in:

"I love ME, yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I love ME! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!"

Mind, it lacks the brute force of the heart/phallus exchange, but it makes up for it with subversive plausibility. Plus, some songs are improved no end by this!

Crazy(and enjoying your drinking fun, vicariously - must try it in person sometime again though!)Soph
Dec. 23rd, 2004 09:55 am (UTC)
Dick of Darkness. Poor Conrad - I've turned his masterpiece into Gothic porn.

The Tell-Tale Dick. Poe's Gothic masterpiece becomes Enid Blyton short story based on a minor Famous Five character.

Dec. 23rd, 2004 10:32 am (UTC)
Hee! We got both of those last night - Dick of Darkness provoked a particularly strong response (ie paroxyms of mirth) - but I particularly like your interpretation of the Tell-Talle Dick!
Dec. 23rd, 2004 10:36 am (UTC)
What becomes of the broken-dicked?
I think my sides are still sore from last night as well.

A quick search through the MP3s I have in work has revealed such further quality musical numbers as David Bowie's "Fill Your Dick", Gene Pitney's "Only Love Can Break A Dick", The Flirtations' "Nothin' But A Dickache", and the McGarrigles' enigmatic "Dick Like A Wheel".
Dec. 23rd, 2004 11:49 am (UTC)
Re: What becomes of the broken-dicked?
Hee! I particularly like "Dick Like a Wheel."
Dec. 23rd, 2004 11:28 am (UTC)
Three more for the list -
Building a Bridge to Your Dick (ABC)
Dick Shaped Box (Nirvana)
You Stole The Sun from my Dick (Manic Street Preachers)
Dec. 23rd, 2004 11:41 am (UTC)
Building a Bridge to Your Dick

Dec. 23rd, 2004 11:37 am (UTC)
One of my colleagues has just suggested "I Left My Dick In San Francisco"...

Truly, it is the joke that keeps on giving.
Dec. 23rd, 2004 11:41 am (UTC)
It really is!
Dec. 23rd, 2004 12:08 pm (UTC)
My favourite - Poison Dick (Ramones)
Dec. 23rd, 2004 03:29 pm (UTC)
From my iTunes, I get "Hungry Dick," by Brice Springsteen; "Good Morning, Dickache," by Billie Holiday; "Hot Wire my Dick," by Sonic Youth; and the classic "Dick-Shaped Box," by Nirvana.

Hee. This is almost as endlessly amusing as appending "in bed" to fortune-cookie slips.
Dec. 24th, 2004 12:00 am (UTC)
The mention of the Bon Jovi bit reminds me of the version that captain_flannel says he made up when he was 11:

"Shot through the dick and I'm in pain/ You gave my shorts a bloodstain"
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )


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