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my old man's a dustman....

I was woken at about six this morning by a weird noise.

It was like a very heavy vehicle moving up the road, stopping and starting and making weird beeping noises. For a second I couldn't figure out what the hell it was (the mothership come to take Ju Ju home, perhaps?) until I realised it was the monthly collection of our recyclable stuff.

And I thought, oh bollocks, we forgot to put out the recycling bin.

The bin was full, as it usually is at the end of the month, and I couldn't bear the thought of us storing our recyclables in a series of large paper bags again (which has happened before), so I leaped out of bed, shoved my feet into my Diesel runners with the velcro straps (no laces required), grabbed a hoodie and ran downstairs and out the front door into the freezing cold pitch dark. The bin van was nearly at the house, so I grabbed the green bin and started to pull it down the drive. It didn't move.

There wasn't room to get it past the regular bin and the car and down the drive! I tried to move back the regular bin, but it wouldn't budge. And I was still practically asleep, and not in my right mind, so I was shoving away at it madly and nearly fell down until, to my great relief and embarrassment, I heard a binman go "hey, it's all right, I'll do that." So I said, "um, thanks very much" and ran back to bed. I returned to our room in a sleepy daze and was greeted by P going "well done!" And in a very sleepy, noble voice I said. "I saved the house!" and fell into bed.

So P said that I was trying to run off to join the recycling men and their tribe, and indeed created a dialogue in which I, apparently speaking like Celia Johnson, begged the binman (who spoke in strongest Dublinese) to be allowed join the merry band of recyclers. The scene ended with my triumphant departure holding on to the back on the recycling lorry, graciously waving farewell. I think this could be projection on P's part, because when he was a very small child he thought that the ultimate job was that of the bloke who rides around holding on to the back of the dustbin lorry. But still. Anyway, all this excitement meant that I couldn't get back to sleep, so now I am very tired. But comforted by the fact that somehow, by getting up at six and being unable to get a recycling bin to the curb, I "saved the house".


( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 4th, 2005 10:15 am (UTC)
Awww! That's such a sweet story. Not so nice at six o'clock in the morning, trying to move the bin, I guess. But sweet now.

I have trouble because my wheelie bins live down the side of the house. With the glittermobile in the drive, there isn't room to move the bins past it and into the front garden. So I have to push the glittermobile backwards down the drive to get the bins into the garden. But, at that point, the glittermobile is then blocking the way out of the drive and onto the pavement, so I have to push the glittermobile forwards again...

Yes, I do know that there must be easier ways than this. But most of them require advance planning.
Feb. 4th, 2005 10:43 am (UTC)
That's kind of what I was like this morning! Our bins are kind of in the lane which leads round to our back garden, so if the car is parked slgihtly too far on that side of the drive, it's hard to squeeze out the bins.
Feb. 4th, 2005 10:16 am (UTC)
Oooh, I reckon you could forumate an entire Blytonesque series about running away to join the dustpeople.

Your recycling bins only come once a month? Jesus. I don't think I'd cope with that terribly well. No wonder you dashed downstairs.
Feb. 4th, 2005 10:40 am (UTC)
Well, it's a very big bin, so while it's always full at the end of the month, it's usually okay, especialyl if you flatten everything out. The "green bins" which are collected by the corporation are only for recycled paper, cardboard, tins, cans and drink cartons - no glass or plastic, yet - so most of it (bar the tins) can be compressed and squashed in.

Our glass stuff always builds up in a box in the shed until someone drives round to the bottle bank - usually once every three months!
Feb. 4th, 2005 10:42 am (UTC)
Oh, and I think my adventures with the dust people ("but I have such a passion for recycling! I must join you!")could indeed make a thrilling saga! Patrick's imagination was running wild - apparently the lorry is attached to a huge balloon and when it's not collecting green bins it's flying around the sky. The possibilities are endless...
Feb. 4th, 2005 10:47 am (UTC)
the lorry is attached to a huge balloon and when it's not collecting green bins it's flying around the sky.

Flying around the sky and solving crimes.
Feb. 4th, 2005 10:55 am (UTC)
Oooooooooh! I like the way you think.
Feb. 4th, 2005 11:12 am (UTC)
Solving crimes with cowboys, astronauts and witches in them!
Feb. 4th, 2005 11:22 am (UTC)
Feb. 4th, 2005 12:32 pm (UTC)
And vikings, and pirates, and NINJAS!
Feb. 4th, 2005 01:09 pm (UTC)
Feb. 4th, 2005 10:44 am (UTC)
Ah, well, that would work ok then -- ours are the same size as the regular wheelie bins, and have a divider to separate the plastics/tins and paper/cardboard. They're collected once a fortnight, which is just about right for us.
Feb. 4th, 2005 10:47 am (UTC)
I was enormously amused by the fact that my little brother's first job after finishing his PhD was "on the bins" in North Wales.

He was designing recycling planning software, but had to spend a couple of months riding on bin lorries to understand what exactly he was designing.

Feb. 4th, 2005 10:54 am (UTC)
Hee, I think P would still like to go "on the bins". He got very nostalgic, talking of his childhood dream of being the bloke hanging on to the back of the lorry....
Feb. 4th, 2005 10:56 am (UTC)
Hee! There are photos of my brother's life as a binman. (Click "Llandudno bins" - the second page has many large vehicles)
Feb. 4th, 2005 11:22 am (UTC)
Heh, it doesn't seem quite as glamorous as I hoped! Although there seem to be quite a lot of cute sheep...
Feb. 4th, 2005 10:51 am (UTC)
"I saved the house!"

So funny. You and Patrick are far too adorable.
Feb. 4th, 2005 11:59 am (UTC)
Hee, you wouldn't think that if you saw us talking meanly about Ju Ju. Patrick says that Ju Ju has been sent to us as a test, "because we'll probably end up having really horrible kids and this will see if we can love something that's basically obnoxious and rude. But cute."
Feb. 4th, 2005 01:30 pm (UTC)
this was "I Like This Poem", wasn't it?
I'm the dolly on the dustcart,
I can see you're not impressed,
I'm fixed above the driver's cab,
With wire across me chest,
The dustman see, he noticed me,
Going in the grinder,
And he fixed me on the lorry,
I dunno if that was kinder.

This used to be a lovely dress,
In pink and pretty shades,
But it's torn now, being on the cart,
And black as the ace of spades,
There's dirt all round me face,
And all across me rosy cheeks,
Well, I've had me head thrown back,
But we ain't had no rain for weeks.

I used to be a 'Mama' doll,
Tipped forward, I'd say, 'Mum'
But the rain got in me squeaker,
And now I been struck dumb,
I had two lovely blue eyes,
But out In the wind and weather,
One's sunk back in me head like,
And one's gone altogether.

I'm not a soft, flesh coloured dolly,
Modern children like so much,
I'm one of those hard old dollies,
What are very cold to touch,
Modern dolly's underwear,
Leaves me a bit nonplussed,
I haven't got a bra,
But then I haven't got a bust!

But I was happy in that doll's house,
I was happy as a Queen,
I never knew that Tiny Tears,
Was coming on the scene,
I heard of dolls with hair that grew,
And I was quite enthralled,
Until I realised my head
Was hard and pink... and bald.

So I travel with the rubbish,
Out of fashion, out of style,
Out of me environment,
For mile after mile,
No longer prized... dustbinised!
Unfeminine, Untidy,
I'm the dolly on the dustcart,
And there's no collection Friday.
Feb. 4th, 2005 02:41 pm (UTC)
Re: this was "I Like This Poem", wasn't it?
Yes! And I must have heard Pam Ayers reading it aloud, because I can HEAR HER VOICE doing the "no collection Friday" line. Hee.
Feb. 4th, 2005 01:46 pm (UTC)
Hee. That was beautiful, and is probably my favorite friendspage entry this morning. :)
Feb. 4th, 2005 02:43 pm (UTC)
Hee. Thanks!
Feb. 4th, 2005 02:23 pm (UTC)
You're the cutest. I could die.

Too bad I didn't do it today. I guess we'll be cramming all of our recycling in the shed again!!
Feb. 4th, 2005 02:46 pm (UTC)
Aha, if you had run down in your 'jamas and a hoodie and a pair of weird old Diesel mary-jane runners, you too could have SAVED THE HOUSE.
Feb. 4th, 2005 02:38 pm (UTC)
That is really very cute.
Feb. 5th, 2005 12:10 pm (UTC)
Cute - or incredibly brave?! You should have seen my epic battle with that bin. It really was very, very pathetic.
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )


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