I may have a hideous plague (see below), but luckily I sit next to the paper's health writer, who is a qualified pharmacist. She looked at my plague sores and said they look like an allergic reaction to something. So I don't have some sort of lurgy after all. I hope. Anyway, I am now slathered in hydro-cortisone cream, and feel strangely soothed. I need more tea.