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overheard in Dublin

Some of the stuff on this site is pure snobbery, but some of it is fucking hilarious, and it's all so purely Dublin that it makes me feel weirdly affectionate towards my native city...

A bloke is sitting down the back of a bus across from me.

A second bloke gets on the bus and heads straight for the back seat.

The catch each other eyes and realise they were in school together.

Bloke 1: "How's it going man, wha's de storee?"

Bloke 2: "Grand man, how are you?"

Bloke 1: "ah you know, alright I suppose."

(They talk shite about people they know for a few minutes and then move on to the killer story)

Bloke 2: "So are ya still doin the paintin for your brother?"

Bloke 1: "Ah yeah, now and again, decorating gaffs mainly, I get the van sometimes, its handy money buts head wreckin."

Bloke 2: "Ah, you were always good at the art and that. You could say its your talent."

Bloke 1: "Yeah I was good wasn't I, what's your talent?"

Bloke 2: "Jayzus, I don't know, eh...(thinks for 30 secs, ah I S'pose matching stuff is."

Bloke 1: "Wha?, matching stuff, wha do ya mean?"

Bloke 2: "Ya know the way burds,like your ma and that are good at matching curtains and cushions. I can do that as well."

Bloke 1: (Totally flabbergasted, looking in middle distance) "Yeah, I suppose that is a talent, sures its good to have a talent."

They both nod their heads and the conversations lulls and then they are back to usual ground, where they score in Inchicore.
I also liked this:
Posh lady (in a fur coat) gets on the 78A BUS talking on her mobile phone:
Posh lady into phone "Oh yes, I'm at the cosmetics counter in Brown Thomas"
Other passenger shouts "NO YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE ON THE F***IN BUS!"
Posh Lady goes scarlet and says into phone "I have to go now"

Heh heh heh.

Link from Back Seat Drivers.

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
tenderhooligan
Apr. 5th, 2005 12:11 pm (UTC)
Posh lady (in a fur coat) gets on the 78A BUS talking on her mobile phone:
Posh lady into phone "Oh yes, I'm at the cosmetics counter in Brown Thomas"
Other passenger shouts "NO YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE ON THE F***IN BUS!"
Posh Lady goes scarlet and says into phone "I have to go now"


Excellent! :)
glitzfrau
Apr. 5th, 2005 12:12 pm (UTC)
Bwa ha haaa! I was sent a link to the site, but the first quote on it when I went involved a gag about Romanians and the Big Issue, which fucked me off so much that I stopped reading. Perhaps I should give it another go.

I hear from my sister that you are STOP THE PRESS FRONT PAGE today. Go Anna Go!
stellanova
Apr. 5th, 2005 12:23 pm (UTC)
What, today? Am I really? Cool! I had a cover at the weekend, which was very fancy!
glitzfrau
Apr. 5th, 2005 12:25 pm (UTC)
I can only confirm once she's sent me the article, mind! Go you.
yiskah
Apr. 5th, 2005 12:26 pm (UTC)
Heee! I love the second one, especially because I did that to someone once - they were obviously really late for something, and claiming that their train had been held up somewhere, whereas it was perfectly on time and zipping happily through the countryside, and I said, in loud, outraged tones 'LIES!' I may have been slightly drunk at the time, though I felt bad about it afterwards, especially as I am usually the one making shitty excuses for my lateness into my phone on public transport.
jeejeen
Apr. 5th, 2005 01:34 pm (UTC)
!!!! You bitch, you! You'd better not ever do that to me!

It's fun to do it to annoying posh people, though.
leedy
Apr. 5th, 2005 01:46 pm (UTC)
"Smooooooke yer 'oul one"

[Ronnie Drew voice]Ah, Dublin. My Dublin.[/Ronnie Drew voice]
leedy
Apr. 5th, 2005 01:59 pm (UTC)
On a bus stuck at the lights at the Liffey end of O'Connell St. the road was blocked by a lorry sitting in the box junction letting pedestrians cross the road in front of him.

A garda motorbike pulls up next to him and motions for him to move on so the traffic can pass.

Two old ladies on the bus start discussing what's happening.

Old lady 1: "must be drugs".
Old lady 2: "yeah, must be".
Me: "He's stopped in a box junction and we can't go until he does".
Old lady 1: "Oh, well he's probably got drugs anyway. My brother drives those big reticulated lorry's and he says they're all at it".
Old lady 2: "Yeah, all of them".
Old lady 1: "But not my Derek, he just does matresses".
Me: "This is my stop".


Genius.
stellanova
Apr. 5th, 2005 02:02 pm (UTC)
Bwahahahaha!
clanwilliam
Apr. 5th, 2005 02:11 pm (UTC)
A few years ago, wandering down O'Connell Street with a hangover one morning, I heard a wonderful one:

Scientologist: Would you like a free personality test?
Woman: Personality test? I don't have time to have a personality this morning, let alone a test!
barsine
Apr. 5th, 2005 03:33 pm (UTC)
"Christmas Ponchos
I overheard some women admiring some Christmas Tree Skirt.

Lady 1: "Jaysus Mary, would ya look at de Christmas ponchos... don't they think of everytin nowadays."
Lady 2: "They're only gorgeous (trying the "poncho" on).... I don't think I'd wear it!"

Hilarous!
--Pennys, O'Connell Street"

My sister has this christmas poncho! ... What kind of freaks put skirts on their Christmas trees anyway?

Monday, 04th April 2005
enoneoftheabove
Apr. 5th, 2005 04:04 pm (UTC)
Please forgive the ignorant American! What's a Skanger?
lolamoz
Apr. 5th, 2005 04:27 pm (UTC)
I was quite taken with the story of the girl who, upon seeing a sign outside a gym advertising "Ireland's First 50 Metre Swimming Pool" announced "Jaysis... that's very deep".
kensson
Apr. 5th, 2005 06:06 pm (UTC)
Hee!
khalinche
Apr. 5th, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC)
Ha HA! Priceless.
cosmorific
Apr. 5th, 2005 11:25 pm (UTC)
Posh lady into phone "Oh yes, I'm at the cosmetics counter in Brown Thomas"
Other passenger shouts "NO YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE ON THE F***IN BUS!"


BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, that's awesome. That person is officially my hero. <3

Also, the dude who can match curtains and pillows has one up on me. I can't decorate for shit.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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