A bloke is sitting down the back of a bus across from me.I also liked this:
A second bloke gets on the bus and heads straight for the back seat.
The catch each other eyes and realise they were in school together.
Bloke 1: "How's it going man, wha's de storee?"
Bloke 2: "Grand man, how are you?"
Bloke 1: "ah you know, alright I suppose."
(They talk shite about people they know for a few minutes and then move on to the killer story)
Bloke 2: "So are ya still doin the paintin for your brother?"
Bloke 1: "Ah yeah, now and again, decorating gaffs mainly, I get the van sometimes, its handy money buts head wreckin."
Bloke 2: "Ah, you were always good at the art and that. You could say its your talent."
Bloke 1: "Yeah I was good wasn't I, what's your talent?"
Bloke 2: "Jayzus, I don't know, eh...(thinks for 30 secs, ah I S'pose matching stuff is."
Bloke 1: "Wha?, matching stuff, wha do ya mean?"
Bloke 2: "Ya know the way burds,like your ma and that are good at matching curtains and cushions. I can do that as well."
Bloke 1: (Totally flabbergasted, looking in middle distance) "Yeah, I suppose that is a talent, sures its good to have a talent."
They both nod their heads and the conversations lulls and then they are back to usual ground, where they score in Inchicore.
Posh lady (in a fur coat) gets on the 78A BUS talking on her mobile phone:
Posh lady into phone "Oh yes, I'm at the cosmetics counter in Brown Thomas"
Other passenger shouts "NO YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE ON THE F***IN BUS!"
Posh Lady goes scarlet and says into phone "I have to go now"
Heh heh heh.
Link from Back Seat Drivers.