The Monkey Princess (stellanova) wrote,
The Monkey Princess
stellanova
  • Music: Radio 4

cherub!

When Patsington was a small child, some well-meaning, theologically confused adult told him that when adults die, they become saints (tell that to the Vatican, well-meaning-theologically-confused-adult - even they aren't so fond of random canonisation. Also, I can think of plenty of recently deceased people who deserve to be honoured with sainthood, but the Vatican are unlikely to agree with me), and when children die, they become cherubs. The adult intended that this news should be comforting to the infant Patsington, but the results were quite the reverse. Because when baby Patsington thought of cherubs, he saw the cherubs of many "holy pictures", ie a rosy-cheeked head with wings coming out of it and no body at all. Understandably enough, the thought of turning into a flying head terrified the infant P, and so he actually prayed that he wouldn't die until he was grown up, purely because he couldn't bear the idea of being a cherub. He still finds those sorts of cherubs rather terrifying.

But what does the modern creative mind do with childhood fears? Exploit them for money, of course! So now, we have decided to write a horror film called, simply, CHERUB, about a cherub head that flies around biting people. The possibilities are endless! The sequel will of course be CHERUBIM, and then there can be CHERUB 3: The Cherubing. Patsington dreams of reaching the stage where there can be CHERUB VS. PREDATOR or something of that kind, but I'm not sure the public are ready for such an explosion of terror. What do you think?
Tags: nonsense, patsington
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