Because reading obnoxious conservative viewpoints is driving me into a frenzy. Today everyone's favourite cockfarmer (TM my lovely sister leedy) Kevin Myers has a column of even greater wankitude than usual, in which he tells us how much he hates this time of year (Leaving results week) because of all the nasty feminists "preening" over the fact that girls do better than boys. Now, I've said it before, and doubtless I'll say it again, but....SERIOUSLY, WHAT COUNTRY IS THIS MAN LIVING IN? Or universe, really. Because the only thing I see in the media these days is writers lamenting the good old days when boys automatically did better than girls AS IS THEIR DUE and how that's obviously the natural order of things and anything different must be reversed.
But! He's not finished there! He goes on to praise Michael Buerk (who he says was "only joking") and, of course, he makes repeated references to the mythical feminist establishment he sneeringly calls "the sisters". He always does this, and it drives me insane. Kevin, darling, if you want to set yourself up as some sort of manly voice of truth and reason in a supposedly female-dominated age, don't use phrases which have been outdated for several decades. We know that your idea of feminism is stuck in an inaccurate version of 1971, so you're probably beyond help, but give it a go! If you're going to criticise us power-crazed feminists, at least pretend to know what we're doing these days (apart from thinking of all the ways we can emasculate mankind, which goes without saying).
I mean, really. I'm re-reading Jill Tweedie's wonderful, wonderful Letters from a Fainthearted Feminist (which is one of my favourite comfort reads, because not only is it clever and politically fantastic and very funny, but its early '80s setting reminds me of my early childhood), which was published in 1982 and based on a Grauniad column from the previous few years. And even then, a quarter of a century ago, the idea of feminists po-facedly refering to each other as "sister" all the time had become a joke AMONG FEMINISTS. I mean, for fuck's sake, Kevin Myers. I know you're a pompous misogynist fuckwit, but at least you could be a pompous misogynist fuckwit who knows his enemy.
Anyway. What with that column, and a few idiotic blog posts and comments I've read this evening, I am in a state of rage with the world. It's not good for me. It makes me all hot and cross and, I believe, gives me heartburn. I think I need some sort of media blackout for a while, because even I - yes, I - get tired of ranting sometimes.