The Monkey Princess (stellanova) wrote,
The Monkey Princess

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As someone whose delicate little stomach is prone to producing more acid than that Owsley bloke from San Francisco, I am very fond of Gaviscon. Yes, despite its dreadful ad with the scary rubber glove of doom going down the heart-burn sufferer's throat, it - and especially the big dry tablets that you have to get in dispensing tubes in the chemist - is a fantastic product that really works.

Or rather it, was.

Because I just got two new tubes and as they proudly announce, they've changed the formula and oh my God, it could just be the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted. It tastes like.....I dunno....dead mint, or something. In fact, I bet literal dead mint tastes better, and I am tempted to go out to the mint plant in the back garden and pick up a few old leaves and eat them, ANYTHING TO GET THIS DISGUSTING TASTE OUT OF MY MOUTH. And the texture! The old tablets were really chalky, but these are....I can't describe it....I could barely get the first tablet down. But hang on, for the sake of your education I'm going to take a tiny nibble from one and describe the sensations AS I EXPERIENCE THEM.

Tiny bit of tablet is now in mouth. I can taste a sort of rotten mint taste. Now I am chewing. It's sort of sticky, yet crunchy, yet dry, and it doesn't seem to be actually, you know, getting chewed up. It's sort of forming a.......freakish gritty rotten-mint-tasting paste. Oh, Christ. Ewwww, it's sticking to my teeth. Oh my Lord, this is horrible. I can't take any more. I'd rather have horrible heart burn than eat another crumb of this vile concoction.

*spits into bin*

*goes off to brush teeth and comes back*

Good God.

So, um, yes, there is a new Gaviscon and it is VILE. And I will never buy it again. And nor should you.

Oh, man, I can still taste it....
Tags: raaar
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