Me: So, what's the latest?
Patsington: They're genetically engineering special Ooompa Loompas to carry the bride and groom around on a bier thing.
Patsington: And they've hired a wizard to distill their essences into magic mirrors like in Snow White or Superman II, and the mirrors will have robotic legs, and they'll walk around the guests talking to people. So the bride and groom don't have to move around socialising during the reception and can just sit on their thrones.
Me: Good lord.
Patsington: And then there are the hundred babies in cupid outfits...
Me: Patsington, this is getting scary.
Patsington: Well, big fancy weddings are always a bit scary.
Come on, wouldn't you employ him?