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patsington the wedding planner

From this morning over the breakfast table:
Me: So, what's the latest?
Patsington: They're genetically engineering special Ooompa Loompas to carry the bride and groom around on a bier thing.
Me: Heavens!
Patsington: And they've hired a wizard to distill their essences into magic mirrors like in Snow White or Superman II, and the mirrors will have robotic legs, and they'll walk around the guests talking to people. So the bride and groom don't have to move around socialising during the reception and can just sit on their thrones.
Me: Good lord.
Patsington: And then there are the hundred babies in cupid outfits...
Me: Patsington, this is getting scary.
Patsington: Well, big fancy weddings are always a bit scary.

Come on, wouldn't you employ him?

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( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
alltheleaves
May. 11th, 2006 01:49 pm (UTC)
Oh absolutely! But I'm not sure I have enough diamond shoes to pay him with.
stellanova
May. 11th, 2006 03:06 pm (UTC)
Hmmmm. For you, I think we can do a special deal. And he'll throw in the Ooompa Loompas for free!
alltheleaves
May. 11th, 2006 03:11 pm (UTC)
What carries me down the aisle in my sedan chair? It better be dwarves, I will only accept dwarves in ruby slippers.
stellanova
May. 11th, 2006 03:36 pm (UTC)
Fair enough, dwarves in ruby slippers it is! Preceded by the swan, of course (Patsington is training the bird e'en as I write).
stringy
May. 12th, 2006 03:18 am (UTC)
Is he available for a December wedding? We've already got our thrones booked.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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