The Monkey Princess (stellanova) wrote,
The Monkey Princess
stellanova

doctor what the fuck?

He's back!
"Go on then, tell me," he grins, hair ruffled and wild. "What do you think?" But what he means is: "Be collected. No more amazement; tell your piteous heart there's no harm done."

But with lines this teeth-clenchingly awful, I don't think I can bear to do the recap of the recap anymore. Jacob's recaps are just too mind-blowingly shit. Especially as he manages to be hugely offensive about this side of the Atlantic twice in the first two pages, first by phonetically transcribing Rose's accent (ooh, her funny English voice means she can't pronounce "th" sounds!) and then by this:

"Up to you. Back to your mum...It's all waiting, fish and chips, sausage and mash, beans on toast -- No, Christmas! Turkey! Although having met your mother, nut loaf would be more appropriate." (Ha! But also, how can you say it's lazy writing to be grossed out by British food, when what the show just said is "It's not a joke, it's just true.")


No, that's not what they said, you America-centric fuckwit, because as far as the writers (and me) are concenred, fish and chips and beans on toast are not gross. They are delicious normal food! And nut loaf is hardly standard British fare, moron. Didn't you discover that on your day trip to London in 1992 or whenever the hell it was you became such an expert on all things English?

Of course, there's all the usual painfully pretentious writing with its tortured metaphors and similes, but frankly there's so much of it that if I commented on all of it (a) my brain would explode and (b) this entry would be even longer than the godawful recap which, I might remind you, is 27 fucking pages long. 27! The mind reels.

By the way, you know what starts in Dr Who's former time slot this Saturday? Do the words "the hooded man" give a clue? Squee!
Tags: dr who, twop
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