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wheezy street

Poor Patsington. The wicked hoover, in what must be a last ditch attempt to do as much damage as possible before we get rid of it forever and welcome a shiny new Dyson (out of stock all over Dublin until Friday, which is why we didn't buy it at the weekend), decided while being used on Saturday to expel as much as dust as possible out of its vile crevices. The result was an asthma attack for Patsington, and 48 hours (and counting) of wheeziness.

However, as I am a heartless wench, I have been inspired by the ailing asthmatic to adapt some popular songs for his entertainment. So far I have been serenading him with renditions of 'Wheezy Lover', 'Wheezy Like Sunday Morning' (sung yesterday when bringing him coffee in bed - see, i am not really that heartless) and 'Wheezy to Dance With' (complete with a tap dancing solo). I have just remembered 'Easy Street' from Annie, so he's going to be hearing that one later. But any more suggestions gratefully received (although possibly not by Patsington, heh heh heh)...

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( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
cangetmad
Feb. 5th, 2007 11:40 am (UTC)
Oh, the poor ailing Patsington! He's having no medical luck recently, poor lad.

Loving You (Is Wheezy 'Cos You're Beautiful)?
stellanova
Feb. 5th, 2007 11:48 am (UTC)
Bwahahaha! An excellent addition to my evil repertoire.
zoje_george
Feb. 5th, 2007 01:21 pm (UTC)
Man, I should have read the comments before I posted. Evil twin!
cangetmad
Feb. 5th, 2007 01:23 pm (UTC)
Excuse me, who is the evil twin round here?
zoje_george
Feb. 5th, 2007 01:25 pm (UTC)
Did I specify?
cangetmad
Feb. 5th, 2007 01:26 pm (UTC)
Let's both be the evil one! Nobody will notice when we switch identities!
zoje_george
Feb. 5th, 2007 01:28 pm (UTC)
It'll be wheezy!

Of course, it helps that we both have our own arenas of expertise with special evilness.
blue_monday
Feb. 5th, 2007 01:44 pm (UTC)
Dammit, you both got there before me!
glitterboy1
Feb. 5th, 2007 11:58 am (UTC)
Oh, poor thing! I hope he's feeling better soon, and that the Dyson will help, too...

I'm tempted to claim the moral high ground and say that I'm not going to add to his torture, but the truth is that I'm just rubbish at songs. :-)
stellanova
Feb. 5th, 2007 02:33 pm (UTC)
Heh, that's the spirit! And yes, I have high hopes (possibly too high) for the Dyson. At this stage I practically believe it's dust-removing powers will cure his asthma forever...
socmot
Feb. 5th, 2007 12:04 pm (UTC)
Guns N'Roses (It's So Wheezy)
slemslempike
Feb. 5th, 2007 12:29 pm (UTC)
How about Wheezy Rider? Though I do hope he gets better.
yiskah
Feb. 5th, 2007 12:32 pm (UTC)
Pahahaha! You are so evil, and you inspire me with ways to tease my own asthmatic boyfriend...
stellanova
Feb. 5th, 2007 02:37 pm (UTC)
Hee! I am spreading teh evil.
leedy
Feb. 5th, 2007 12:42 pm (UTC)
It's So Wheezy To Fall In Love!

Poor Patsington (both for the wheeziness and being subjected to your evil crooning...).
stellanova
Feb. 5th, 2007 02:36 pm (UTC)
Oh my God, I can't believe I didn't think of that before! Excellent.
zoje_george
Feb. 5th, 2007 01:21 pm (UTC)
Oh that old 70s hit by Minnie Riperton, Lovin' You* -- but only the first line is wheezy.

You Make It Easy by Air
She Bruise Easy by Cousteau
And... of course, the Easy Peasy Alphabet (which I have to sing about a million times a week).




*Caution: must be sung with a ridiculously high voice.
stellanova
Feb. 5th, 2007 02:38 pm (UTC)
Oooh, I could sing "you make it easy" to the fluff-shedding Ju Ju, only of course it would be "you make him wheezy..."
wonderlanded
Feb. 5th, 2007 03:52 pm (UTC)
Oh, and 'Easy Street' has good tapdancing opportunities too...

Has anyone suggested 'Easy Come, Easy Go' yet? Double the wheezing fun!

Poor Patsington --I do hope he feels better and the laughing doesn't make him wheezier.
stellanova
Feb. 5th, 2007 04:35 pm (UTC)
Hee! Perfect.

And poor Patsington just informed me that he went to the doctor and received not one but two new inhalers, so hopefully he will be wheezy no longer.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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