No TV programme has ever affected me the way Buffy did (look! "did"!). I can't imagine anything on the telly ever will. It was everything I could ask for in a series: funny, smart, magical, enormously moving - and unrepentently feminist. Even during its weaker moments, it was a million times better than just about everything else on TV. The thought that I'll never have any more conversations with my friends about what will happen next, about how they'll manage to end the entire series- because now I know...well, it may be a sign that I spent the past few years talking and thinking way too much about Buffy, but that's something I will really miss. Along with the characters - I mean, we'll never find out what happens to any of them again! It seems bizarrely unfair.
But I'm glad it ended the way it did. I thought 'Chosen' was a great episode. And here, in spoilerific detail, is
The return to the original foursome - I started bawling during that scene in the school, and Giles's "the earth is definitely doomed", and I basically kept crying until the end of the final credits.
Anya's Bunny speech, final proof of how Emma Caulfield took an initially irritating character and made her hilarious and touching.
And most of all, the most empowering (for want of a better word) moment since Buffy's "Me" in 'Becoming'. Was the bit where Buffy snarled at the First and stood up in glorious slow motion to all that stirring music cheesey? Because if it was, I don't give a fuck. I fucking adored it. I was crying and beaming all at once. It summed up a lot of why I loved that programme - Buffy has always given us lots of ".......YES!" moments, and that was a great last one. I didn't want the series to end with Buffy defeated. I wanted her to be what she always was at her best, someone who refused to give up, who could look after herself - and everyone else. And in the very end, that's what we got.
Fuck. I'm really going to miss it a lot.